Well I Was Losing Weight, But Now I am Getting Fat again...

So I was doing OK on my diet for a while. I gained 7 pounds in the last year, and over the course of the last 3 months, managed to lose 5 or 6 of those pounds...I have not weighed myself in a couple of weeks, but I know I have gained some of it back because my stomach looks fatter and I feel bloated...

Whenever my family is in town, like they were last weekend (well one family member anyway), I always end up boozing for like 4 days in a row on high calorie alcholic beverages...and now I've gained a few...DAMN IT!!!!!!

I hate getting older and getting fatter. I technically still have an eating disorder (bulimia), but the alcohol and lack of excercise is not helping me maintain my weight...I do excercise, just not as much. And I do like "cocktail hour"-- it helps sooth my nerves...it's making me fucking fat though, so maybe I should just have margaritas on the weekend of something...CRAP!!!

I'm Getting a Beer Gut

I like alcohol. I won't lie about this. I actually didn't start drinking until I was in my mid 20's. Probably a good thing I guess ;)...Knowing myself, and my obsessivensess, and my tendencies..

Over the last year I have got a bit of a "beer gut"...actually more like a tequila and vodka gut..but you know what I'm talkin about right?.... :O ...

This, er...gut...is fucking with my head...I used to have a pretty fucked up eating disorder....I'm in a normal weight range for my height currently...but it is fucking with my head...I was "thin" until the last year...Perhaps it's because my metabolism is finally slowing...or maybe it's because alcohol has a lot of fucking calories....Honestly, I think that's what it is...

Let's just say I'm drinking enough to make me mellow some nights, and enough to make me fat. I don't like that I'm not as "taught" as I used to be. As much as I like boozing-- it does relax me and all-- I may have to cut back. I don't want to be a fucking heffer. It's funny...I don't mind if others are over weight...but I just dont' want to be myself..you know?..I feel like a horrible person. Why should I care if I get fat?

Why does there have to be so many damn calories in booze? :(