I am not sure what to do at this point. I feel as though I am at a crossroads. I always feel this way though...Seriously, there is a reason why this blog is called "What's Wrong With Me."...
According to the psychiatrist I saw at the free clinic, what's wrong with me is that I have re-occurring major drepssion, generalized anxiety disorder, and bulimia. In the past I had more labels as well....I fucking hate labels, so I'm glad I dont' have as many as I used to...anyhoo...
I feel restless. I can't concentrate. I can't get anything done. I am too busy obsessing about my love life-- or lack there of, or what I should REALLY be doing with my life. I love the "idea" of being an artist, but I am a very practical person, and desire a steady paycheck. Alas, with a bachelor's degree in fine art, I'm not sure what my other options are-- other than retail...and I fucking hate retail...I am too introverted to be sales person...I hope I get me disability benefits back. I'm not as fucked up as when I got them the first time, but I'm still fucked up, so there is hope.
I don't intend it to be a permanent solution though. I want to be a productive person and do something with myself. I think it would help me though for now, as I am struggling in various ways....I am not really functioning like a normal person to tell you the truth. I can balance my budget, and make a sandwhich, but that's about it...
Maybe someday when I am more stable I will go back to school for another degree. I'm just not sure for what exactly. I have a passion for medical science, but I suck at science. I absolutely love animals, but again, I suck at science....maybe I should be an accountant...I'm good at math...or at least I used to be...
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6 comments:
OH NO!!!... I feel like you're back to this same spot where you keep wondering about yourself again.
Come on... cheer up... I've been reading your blog for a while and i know u can get through this :-)
p.s. that's one good thing about blogging >> some supportive from the stranger.
You are too good to me--Thanks so much for the support :)
You sure we aren't the same person??!!! HAHA! It's so easy to get caught up in life and love. Hang in there, things always work themselves out!
Dear,
I'm in a frustrated situation too. But I think I found the solution for me, and is this project:
I'm from Barcelona, and I'm in NY for 2 months. I came here for start a new life, far than the illness. I start bulimic when I was 14, and now I'm 23, long time...
But I need the last thing to get over all. I'm a photographer and I want to make an storie about Bulimia,
not only for help all the girls with this problem and show it without stereotype, also because is for my cure.
I want to find some girls (or boys) with bulimia and make some special portraits. I want to show to the world how is this problem from my view, because I really understand the problem... Please is very very important to me, if you cant, but you know somebody, or a center, or something, I really appreciate.
Thanks for all.
Bot-- we are so similar in some ways...though ti appears as though you function as a normal adult (unlike , who has my middle class Dad pay my rent-- sad but true)....so easy to get caught up in things though...
gala...I am so sorry for your pain, and can relate...
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