The Tech School Tour..

It went well. I liked the bulding, I liked the teachers...but do I really want to go back to school for 2 years, to have a starting wage of roughly $10 per hour??? That is the question...well, one of them.

I already have a bachelor's degree (art), and I have already had jobs that pay this much, though I didn't really like any of them. I'm sick of being broke. As much as I love animals I may have to pursue another route to support my art habit. Accounting makes the most sense right now, as it would go hand in hand with having my own business...the next questions is, what type of schooling or degree...

this sucks, why didn't I do something about his years ago. Oh wait, I was really fucked up. Like more so than I am currently.

So I Have an Appointment To Go on a Tour of a Local Tech School

To check out their vet tech program...funny how quickly I change tunes, right??? Ok, I really love dogs...Only problem is bet techs dont' get paid shit, especially in my portions of the country, so I am having doubts already...

I don't know if I am going to do it...maybe I should stick with the med assistant idea adn shit...I don't know...I just want to get married and be an artist/housewife...is that bad???? I feel like that is bad, and I am not supposed to feel that way, as a result of the baby boomers, gen x, and gen y (and for the record, I am at the end of gen x)...I am confused...

Oh my god...I think I have a Plan..

Something just clicked in my head:

1) take a non-credit quickbooks class (for my own purposes)
2) get a tech diploma-- either a medical assistant or LPN (probably medical assistant)
3) take college level transfer classes and then try to get into school to be a physician's assistant..

why? Here's why:

I have been fascinated with medical science for the last 7 years. If I get a tech/degree or diploma I will at least have a "practical" skill to help makes ends meet. Maybe $25,000 k a year? Not much, but enough to get by...I would love to go to med school, but that may be too daunting...maybe I could handle school for a physician's assistant...my aunt does it, and she doesn't seem much smarter than I am, in terms of IQ...more grounded perhaps (she's in her 50's though)...and quickbooks??? because it would help me with my art shit...and I still do have a curiosity about accounting-- this non-credit class would help give me an idea I believe...

So there you have it. Let's see if I can do it...I would like to thank all my art friends who are driven and successful, as well as the all men who have fucked me over-- they have all inspired me to improve my life and become self sufficient...

The Panic of Aging...

I have nothing against aging persay-- it is unavoidable. What freaks me out is that I am at an age where I feel very "behind" my peers. Almost delayed perhaps-- and I feel like it's too late to catch up. I am referring to a lack of career and any basic job skills of course. So much has changed since I was in college-- it's all technology now, I feel to intimidated and too old to go back. I know it's not a competition, and I don't look at it as so. I just don't like feeling like a loser. Do I really want my Dad paying my rent when I am 40? What happened to my life??? I am thankful for the help of course, don't get me wrong.

Every year that goes by I feel I have wasted-- another year of schooling, etc..gone by.

I am Not a Career Woman

I realize this may be a taboo thing to say after everything the woman's movement has done and all...(and it has done a lot of good things-- equal opportunities and equal pay is a good thing)!!!...but I really don't have a burning desire to be a successful career woman. In fact, I would rather be a housewife/artist.

I feel guilty admitting this, but it is true. And it's not because I am lazy-- in fact, I prefer to be busy. But the whole, be a Dr., be a lawer, be a teacher...I don't fit into those worlds. In fact, most jobs I have ever had have stressed me out to no ends...and these were low paying hourly jobs.

I wasn't cut out to be a career woman. Given I am single this is a bit of a problem. I'm not going to marry any asshole off the street though. I guess I am just destined to be really fucking poor, because the "mega career" thing stresses me out.

What's wrong with wanting to be a housewife? I don't see why that has to be taboo...Oh wait...there is all that pressure from my family to have a fucking career...