I can't seemt to stop blogging when I have shit on my mind. It's therapuetic for me I guess. And since I don't have health insurance, or a therapist...I might as well write about it to get it off my chest...
I brought another load of stuff to Sam's house tonight. The last thing I brought in was a sewing machine and the picture Josh gave me. I put it on the kitche table adn said, "look what Josh gave me, isn't that awesome?!?!" Sam said something to the effect of "yeah," and seemed pleasantly surprised...I said I wasn't expecting it at all but I really like it. I also commented I had to get it out of my house before my ex boyfriend saw it. Sam asked me something like, "is he jealous?" I said probably, but there is nothing to be jealous of, because I never slept with Josh. Sam said "there are still things to be jealous of though." I said, "yeah, but I don't think Josh was ever really attracted to me." Sam replied, "well Josh has a type-- he goes for blondes with mega careers, who look like they are 18."...he also made a comment on knowing what your type is doesn't have be be a bad thing. I said "I know." and also something like, well that's part of life...
So Sam basically confirmed I am not Josh's type. It's odd, that one night when we were all drunk (Sam, Kim, and I) he seemed to think I had a shot, as Josh thought my x-rays were pretty hot, adn he requested to see them again. Perhaps Sam has learned something about the situation since then. I have no idea whether or not Sam has discussed any of this with Josh. I felt pretty good this afternoon, but now I feel shot down again.
I told Sam I was going to go and paint, but when I got there I didn't feel like it. I got some takeout and ate it at my studio. Then I came home...
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2 comments:
Ok I definitely have some thoughts about this. Who really has a 'type'? And for those that do have types are really limiting themselves and missing out. A guy who states he has a type (to me) seems boring and generic. The kind of guy who orders the same thing on a menu at a restaurant. Never branching out, eating something new. Not my type at all....HAH!
About "mega" career:
You live far away from home and are taking the biggest risk on being an artist. How many people can say that? Sure you may say that your dad helps you but who hasn't had help in life? Successful people always have a support system to help them get there. You are working and doing what you dream to be. Not many people can say that. A guy who wants a women with a mega career to me says the guy wants a sugar mama. So unattractive.
About Josh:
Josh definitely was interested in you. If wasn't....he would not have left you the painting. That means he has been thinking about you.
I would be down for a girls trip to Josh's new city! :-)
The "type" thing is annoying isn't it? Sam totally has a type-- 24, good career, and long hair. No wonder he and I are not compatible...Josh SAID he didn't have a type, but Sam seems to think he does...
I appreciate your thoughts on taking a risk to be an artist. I guess I never thought of it that way before :) I really hope I can make it work, because I love doing this..the thoughts of going back to school are more of a backup plan-- though I don't know if Josh understand this. Sam totally wants a sugar mama. That kid has some growing up to do.
Do you really think he was interested in me??? I hope he was...I will miss him. The people here (a couple of them) thought maybe he was, but then they all seemed to think he just liked me as a friend. I'm so glad he left the painting :)
Hell yeah I would love to go to Josh's new city!!!! I wouldn't want him to think I'm like a stalker or something :)-- maybe in a couple of months?...or for you know-- that awesome celebration! :)
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