The One Who Got Away

We all have one of these right?...I happen to have 3 of them...true, 2 of them are from my childhood, which is VERY pathetic...but I like to hold on to my sweet childhood memories-- it's a time when I was happier and still had hope...

Anyway, the fella you see here, is the one I am referring to in this post. (And for the record, the picture doesn't look like him)...For the sake of anonymity, lets call him "Jeremy."...

Jeremy was someone I met when I was a freshman in college. He was very much a sweetheart, though somewhat socialy awkward, much like myself. I think this is what turned me off at the time...anyone like me must suck and not be worth my time...romantically speaking at least...

So naturally I spent my time being completely infatuated with his good friend, who I'll refer to as "Mike."...Mike was overly confident, and pretty average in most ways-- other than his overinflated ego, his well off family, and decent grades...

At the time I didn't understand just what I may have been doing to Jeremy...I told him about all the guys I was interested in of course...even though I knew he had feelings for me...I can't recall exactly how I knew this...I think Mike may have illuded to it...and also during a heartfelt conversation once, Jeremy told me I was "a diamond in the rough."...This is one of the best compliments I have ever received.

I lost touch with Jeremy after only 2 years of friendship. I was too busy feeling sorry for myself, and the rejection I was feeling from Mike, to spend time with any of them. A year or two later I found out that Jeremy had met someone...and once I saw her in person...she actually looked a lot like me! :O...that was very interesting...I would like to think she was his "replacement" for me, but that would be just completely narcisistic...Perhaps I was the "precursor" to her...She was the one he ultimately needed to be with, and perhaps I was a "hint" of what was to come, and what was better for him.

I found out they got married. And I just found out the had a child. There is no going back. He is no longer available...Perhaps he never was, even when he "technically" was... When a man starts a family with another women, he is no longer available...and if he makes himself available, (unless he is divorced), he is most likely a cad anyway...

Jeremy was kind to me, and saw the best in me when I was young, when nobody else did. I know he is the one who got away...and I think I knew this shortly after I left the friendship. I know though, that he is much better off without me. I could never had made him happy.