Yesterday:

The Good Things (Karma):
1) I volunteered agan
2) I didn't flirt with Sam, and I refuse to seduce him (Kim is too nice of a person)
3) I gave the artist across the way from me half of my sub sandwhich because he was
hungry. (It was the least I could do, he has listed to me complain about Alex for
the last 6 months-- and he sold one of my little prints)...
4) Kim asked me if I wanted to grab a bite with her and Sam and I declined

The Bad Things:
1) Had pissed off angry thoughts about Alex and how he will never talk to me again
2) Was jealous of Sam and Kim's relationship, even though Sam is not my type-- they
are good together...
3) Kim said she owes their relationship to me (because I nudged them along)...that
made me feel a little guilty because she doesn't know how recently I slept with
him
4) pissed at Sam because he had sex with me a few times, but never took me "out" or
called...he calls Kim and takes her "out"...
5) as a result of all of the above, drank too much wine last night
6) feeling sorry for myself again...

Update on Project "Improve Myself"...

I have avoided flirting with Sam...I know Kim really likes him...I have spent at least 6 hours at my art studio the past 2 days-- I have not been a slacker...And I earned about $130 in the last 2 days..for most people this is peanuts, but for me this is a lot...(these were mostly little prints :)...

I have also made an effort to be happy...I've been talking to the tourists and really (genuinely) enjoying it...Like today, this family came in-- 2 parents and 3 kids. I loved talking to them, enterainted the kids a bit, enjoyed their company. (and they bout 3 prints)!!!!! I wasn't being fake either...

It reminds me of a theory I heard once-- if you smile, it might actually make you happy...like some kind of chemistry changes in your brain or something...Anyway, the mom was so happy she insisted on getting a picture of me with her 3 kids and their prints :)-- it was so cute!!!

I was going to go and volunteer tomorrow, but I fear I won't get up in time-- now I feel guilty..(luckily, it's one of those things where you just show up..you don't have to make an appointment)...

I started project "Improve Myself" Yesterday :)

I did go and do some volunteering in the AM, and in the afternoon I behaved myself. This basically means I didn't get overly flirtatious with Sam up at the studios, as my friend Kim likes him. The only really BAD thing I did yesterday was that I let my ex-boyfriend buy me stuff...I do feel a little guilty about letting him buy me lunch and renting us movies, as I know I can never get back together with him. I do like having him as a friend though. Life is confusing...I am trying to balance my karma, and make sure that it is good karma...the karma of lately seems to have been bad...