Update on Project "Improve Myself"...

I have avoided flirting with Sam...I know Kim really likes him...I have spent at least 6 hours at my art studio the past 2 days-- I have not been a slacker...And I earned about $130 in the last 2 days..for most people this is peanuts, but for me this is a lot...(these were mostly little prints :)...

I have also made an effort to be happy...I've been talking to the tourists and really (genuinely) enjoying it...Like today, this family came in-- 2 parents and 3 kids. I loved talking to them, enterainted the kids a bit, enjoyed their company. (and they bout 3 prints)!!!!! I wasn't being fake either...

It reminds me of a theory I heard once-- if you smile, it might actually make you happy...like some kind of chemistry changes in your brain or something...Anyway, the mom was so happy she insisted on getting a picture of me with her 3 kids and their prints :)-- it was so cute!!!

I was going to go and volunteer tomorrow, but I fear I won't get up in time-- now I feel guilty..(luckily, it's one of those things where you just show up..you don't have to make an appointment)...

Facebook Tortures me...

yeah, it's so nice to see how far everyone has come, and all the grand things people are doing...

and for the record, I am in introvert and generally against such sights. I just joined because my boyfriend made me... :0

Anyway...I looked up "Jeremy" on facebook...if you recall...he was the one who "got away" back in college, is now married to a sucessful, intelligent woman, who somewhat resembles me physically...

And they have a beautiful daugher. I don't have access to all their info, but the wife used the daughter as an avatar. She is so lovely. I am happy for him. He deserves that...I know also, I could never have given him that stability or happiness, as i have so many fucking problems....I can't help be a little sad though...a little envious...for that "normal" life I most likely will never have...