Yesterday:

The Good Things (Karma):
1) I volunteered agan
2) I didn't flirt with Sam, and I refuse to seduce him (Kim is too nice of a person)
3) I gave the artist across the way from me half of my sub sandwhich because he was
hungry. (It was the least I could do, he has listed to me complain about Alex for
the last 6 months-- and he sold one of my little prints)...
4) Kim asked me if I wanted to grab a bite with her and Sam and I declined

The Bad Things:
1) Had pissed off angry thoughts about Alex and how he will never talk to me again
2) Was jealous of Sam and Kim's relationship, even though Sam is not my type-- they
are good together...
3) Kim said she owes their relationship to me (because I nudged them along)...that
made me feel a little guilty because she doesn't know how recently I slept with
him
4) pissed at Sam because he had sex with me a few times, but never took me "out" or
called...he calls Kim and takes her "out"...
5) as a result of all of the above, drank too much wine last night
6) feeling sorry for myself again...

I don't like the person I have become...

I have been experiencing a lot of introspection lately, and I have done some really shitty things in my life-- particularly in the last year. I have become a woman who cheated on her boyfriend, can't get over the guy she cheated with (and can't have), a woman who slept with a guy one of her friends likes, and a woman who is not employed...

Funny thing is, I'm not one to judge others-- to each his own, you know? I just don't like that this has become my life. I used to be sweet, innocent and kinda smart....I think I liked myself better when I treated people with honesty. I will be this person again. I have decided to start by volunteering...(and not fucking other woman's husbands)...unless of course it's Alex, than I would have trouble resisting..(I'm horrible)...though I still don't think he will ever talk to me again...