I Just Lost My Job

Big Fucking Surprise.....

The good news, at least for my own piece of mind....is that my job was "elimintated" because of the economy......they weren't bringing in enough money, so they had to cut corners.... (for the record, I earn about $600 per month).....Perhaps they told me the truth, but I REALLY doubt it....

I never fit in there....The people that work there are "respectable" looking....I am a bit scruffy. I have "trichotillomania", which means I pull my hair out do to anxiety, and have some bald spots. I don't dress in stylish clothing....I have an eating disorder, and am uncomortable in form fitting clothing....to make matters worse, I am at the heaviest weight I've been at since high school...in the last year I've gained almost 10 pounds....

Ok, sorry, that's a side note, and I'm slightly intoxicated...not mega drunk, but a little....I thought I'd console myself and celebrate.....

Anyway, I feel a bit depressed, a bit happy, and a bit lost... I don't know what to do now...Luckily I have an amazingly supportive boyfriend, who seems to love me...why? I don't know, but I'm lucky and he does....I love him too...I admit, I'm often scared he will fuck me over...

Anyway....just why was my postition "eliminated"??? you ask?.... I guess I am still wondering...My job has been on shaky ground for a month or so...I had a phase where I made a bunch of stupid mistakes...but then I was fine...Now they are canning me....in a very "polite" way of course....I was let go in a way where it seemed as if they were really "eliminating" my job...I was told my 2 supervisors were taking over my duties...there are other things going on though, which make me suspuct others are taking over my job...

Maybe it doesn't matter. I didnt' like it there. I wasn't good at it. They knew it, and I knew it...It still hurt my fuckin feelings....I feel like the biggest fucking loser on the planet...If I didn't have my sweetie to help me, and my Dad...I would be homeless and dead...I hope things improve soon...