I feel rather helpless right now. My boyfriend says he will be out by next week, but part of me is scared for him to go. I am across the country from "home" and I don't know a lot of people here. I feel alone a lot. I am not employed. My dad is paying my bills. I feel pathetic. I can't get a job because I am not qualified to do anything other than work in retail. I would get fired anyway. And if I even attempted to get another job I definitely won't win my disability case. Everything is fucked!
When I look at my boyfriend (ex boyfriend), I feel sad. I still love him, but there will always be the "next relapse" the "next job loss" the next "threat" or some sort. He terrifies me psychologically, but not physically. It's wierd-- he's always threatening to "sue me" if I throw him out, call the cops if I yell at him-- that kind of thing.
I hate my life right now. I really need to see a counselor of something, but I have no health insurance and i can't afford to see a counselor because i have no income. I think that's why i like blogging. It's my form of therapy.
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You can get counseling in any state at that state's mental resources centers. May need to go to the welfare or human services offices there and find out where those services are located. Look under you state's listing in the phone book, and go down and see if you find a number there. They are available and in most cases payment is only dependent on one's income or ablility to pay. No income...no charge. Good luck sweetie. Hang in there for sure!!!
thanks Don :) what the hell would I do without my internet buddies? :) ...on a positive note.. I got a down payment on a painting today-- yeah!
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