Monday, June 1, 2009

No Goodbyes...

No fanfare...nothing...

Perhaps it is best this way. I saw Josh briefly today, as he was in and out of the studio moving stuff to his vehicle. There was brief, normal chit chat that co-workers would have, but nothing special. I left around 5:30 and was at home for almost 2 hours. I then returned to my studio and saw he had been back in my absence, and had taken what was most likely the second to last load. I stuck around for about a half hour. I actually felt like painting, but felt odd being there. When he showed up for the last load I didn't want him to think I was waiting for him, like a fucking stalker or something...

I kind of wanted a last goodbye, but at the same time it would be hard. Particularly because he is moving, and apparently not into me. It would be like pouring salt in the wound. I have already had enough awkwardness with him in the last month. He knows how I feel about things, and he doesn't want to go there. Why make his last night here awkward for him. Or for me. He pulls out of town around 6 AM tomorrow.

2 comments:

MoarMe said...

I don't like goodbyes...but I hate to not say goodbye.

You never know when you will cross paths with someone again.

It worked out this way for a reason. Guys are so strange and weird. maybe when you and sam become roommates you can make that trip to josh's new city.

In the meantime work on you.......time for a inside and out makeover!

What's Wrong With Me? said...

Yeah, I do wonder about fate and destiny and such...Perhaps it did work out this way for a reason-- maybe it's because I really do need to work on my shit :)

I do wonder about crossing paths again at some point. I would absolutely love to go with Sam to visit Josh. I wonder if it will ever work out-- Sam actually just got us a dog! I might be at home dog sitting...we could have someone dog sit her?!?! That's if Josh actually would want me to go... :)