Re-Assessing Survival/Life Goals...

The last 3 months have fucking sucked ass. My ex boyfriend the alcholic almost made me homeless. (Long story)...The guy I fell in love with (and was stupid enough to cheat with) started ignoring me as a result (and was fucking yet another girl, other than me or his wife)....and I have no fucking income to speak of...my 63 year old father is paying my rent...and at my age, I know how pathetic that is...

I need to find a way to be self sufficent. Even if it means earning $7 per hour and living in a fucking trailor park. I hate my life. I don't hate men, but hate the men who have been involved in my life recently. I can't rely on them. I can only rely on myself. The scary part or course, is I have no job skills, other than the ability to draw a pretty picture-- not that that ever got me anywhere...

I am alone adn need to except that. I really wanted to get married someday, and maybe have a kid. I don't think that can/will happen though. I have maye 10 years left at best, or I'll have one of those "Palin babies"-- if you know what I mean...not to be un-PC, but seriously, a woman only has so long...

I need to change my life, but I don't know how. I've always been a sqaure peg trying to fit into a round hole. These are not good odds...