Another Fabulous Round of Insomnia...

Can you sense my sarcasm?...

I have been up since 6 AM. I have no reason to be up this early...it is now 9:30 AM. I was lying in bed and feeling shitty about my general life situation, and just couldn't fall back asleep. So I got up, ate a carton of strawberry pop tarts, puked, and surfed the net. Why? Because I have no life, and have been rather depressed for the last week.

Why depressed?...I've been this way since I was about 14. It runs in the family. But also, there are those special enviromental factors psychologists love to talk about! :) Let's just say I was picked on a lot in adolescence, and somehow never got over it. Yes, it was a long time ago, but my brain never appropriately adapted or something. Little things get to me, and I have trouble getting over the little things. I obsess, I dwell...and when I do these things I get depressed As a result I have a serious lack of motivation and difficulty staying focused on the task at hand.

I've been thinking a lot about "Jeremy" lately. I've been thinking about his perfect life, with his pefect wife, and their perfect baby. I can't help but notice his perfect wife, (who somewhat resembles me), is prettier, potentially skinnier, looks a lot younger than her age, and is most certainly smarter. (You know, the type with a very important job at a young age). I wish I could have that life. As it stands, I will most likely die at a young age, single, because I am a depressive and have no health insurance. I hope I don't get cancer.